BRAD WILLIAMS IS THANKFUL FOR THOSE WHO DO OTHER JOBS
By Butch Maier
Brad Williams
When: 7 p.m., Thursday, Oct. 22
Where: Harrison Opera House, 160 W. Virginia Beach Blvd., Norfolk
Tickets: sevenvenues.com/events/detail/brad-williams-1
Official website: bradwilliamscomedy.com
To Brad Williams, becoming a comedian once seemed as attainable as becoming Spider-Man. More than two decades later, instead of serving as a Marvel superhero webslinger, he is packing theaters and serving super-marvelous web zingers—with one comedy special amassing nearly 9 million views online. Williams—who was born with achondroplasia, a form of dwarfism—spoke on the phone about his start in comedy, career choices, getting starstruck, his taller wife, and his respect for the military ahead of his return to the stage in Coastal Virginia.
Coastal Virginia Magazine: Your 2024 special Starfish has generated nearly 9 million views on YouTube. Is that mind-blowing to you, expected, or a good start?
Brad Williams: “The thing is, now there’s that level that now I anticipate. So, when I released my most recent special, Live on Short Street, now I’m looking at the 9 million, and I’m like, ‘All right, Starfish got 9 million in two years, that’s what this one has to get.’ That’s the bar I have set for myself. The new special has gotten half a million in two weeks. I have to keep reminding myself it took two years to get 9 million.”
CVM: At 19 years old, you were in the crowd at a comedy show, you got called onstage, cracked a few jokes, and earned a tour gig. What was your life like before the moment you stepped on that stage?
Williams: “I was going to school. I was going to USC [the University of Southern California]. I was a communications major. And I was working in my off time at Disneyland as a bodyguard for the characters. When I tell people I dropped out of college to do standup comedy, they get this look on their face. I’m like, ‘Well, I was a communications major. We didn’t lose a cancer cure.’ You know what I mean? It’s not like, ‘Oh, no, what humanity could have been if I had just stayed in college.’ It’s like, no, I’m probably doing better than I would’ve done if I had just gone that route.”
CVM: How has your comedy evolved from ages 19 to 42?
Williams: “Wow. Hehe. I hope it’s gotten better. I think it’s gotten better. Someone described it to me this way one time, and I think this is pretty accurate: Your first 10 years of comedy is just building your joke machine to where you can drop in a topic, and a joke in your voice comes out. So, that was the first 10 years was just trying to figure out the joke machine. When I started, it was very surface stuff about me being a little person. Now, we’re getting more in depth. We’re talking about other topics—worldly topics. As a 42-year-old, I think it’s only natural that you get that advice thing that you start talking about ’cause you’ve seen some stuff in the world now. Thankfully, I can look at my career and look at every hour and go, ‘Oh yeah, it got better.’ It just makes me look forward to shows I’ve got coming up and new material I’m still writing. And, like, ‘OK, it’s going to get better again.’”
CVM: Had you ever done comedy before you were 19? Did you do any open-mic nights? Or was it just, ‘Oh, this is something
I could try’?
Williams: “I had done comedy before. I had done improv comedy at my high school [Sunny Hills High School in Fullerton, California]. And I did a version of standup at my high school. At the time, if you said, ‘What do you want to be?’, I would have said something other than comedian, only because comedian, to me, was a job like saying you wanted to be Spider-Man. It’s not real. You can’t actually become Spider-Man. So, that’s what being a comedian was to me at that point. But once I went on stage at 19 and got those laughs, I was like, ‘Oh, this is awesome. How do I do this?’ And the internet was in a different stage. There weren’t a million podcasts talking about how you get started. Podcasts didn’t exist at that time. So, it was just going online to look up how to get started and going to open-mic nights three, four days a week. It’s the unfortunate thing about comedy and the great thing about comedy: The only way to get good at it is to do it….You have to just go on stage and experience it for yourself.”
CVM: Did you have any mentors in comedy who brought you along?
Williams: “Yeah. I was the opening act for Carlos Mencia for about four years when I got started. But then, also, you just kinda learn stuff from being around other comedians. Christopher Titus. I opened for him one time, and he taught me how to talk about traumatic things on stage and be comfortable in the silence as long as you know there is a joke coming at the end ….You can look at twin comedians named the Sklar Brothers. Their rapid-fire writing. I really like that. Jim Jefferies. Bill Burr. There’s an honesty there that’s really cool. There’s a vulnerability in a Taylor Tomlinson that you can learn from.”
CVM: What career path do you think you would you have taken if you had not been called onstage by Carlos that night?
Williams: “I was trying to be a sports announcer. I was that guy who would turn the volume down on a Laker game and just announce the game myself. And my Dad tried to convince me to be a sports announcer because he was like, ‘Oh, my god. You’re a dwarf. You interviewing 7-foot-tall basketball players would just be visually funny.’ And he thought I could stand out in that way. I liked it. I liked the idea because I wanted to be a pro athlete and clearly don’t have the body type.”
CVM: Since you are visiting Virginia, I looked up Brad Williams LinkedIn profiles from the state and found quite a few in a variety of jobs. In an alternate universe, which of these 10 Brad Williams careers—listed in alphabetical order—would you most like to have had: electrician, engineer, forester, personal trainer, physician assistant, professor, project manager, property manager, real estate agent, or welder?
Williams: “Haha! Those are great jobs, but every single one of them, I’m like, ‘No.’ I’d say professor because I could still be talking in front of people and still be kinda getting my thoughts across. Being Professor Brad Williams, out of all those jobs, that’s the one that speaks to me the most. The thing is, I’m so happy with the job that I have. I am so thankful for everyone who does jobs that I don’t want to do so our society can function. Because if everyone was a professional idiot like me, the world would be very fun, but there wouldn’t be a lot of innovation.”
CVM: You will be in Norfolk in October. Have you ever performed in Coastal Virginia before or even been here?
Williams: “Many times….I’ve been there a lot. I know the strong military presence that is there. Whenever I come there, I get reminded of a joke I told on a special about riding in a Blackhawk helicopter in Afghanistan. And that really kinda hit home with a lot of servicemen and -women. So, I appreciate what they do. I appreciate their sacrifices, ’cause I can’t serve—unless there’s some sort of elite dwarf fighting force that I’m unaware of. And, if I am unaware of them, they’re really doing a great job. (Laughs.) But, yeah, I can’t serve, so the best thing I can do is to entertain those that do and to make life a little better for those that do. And that’s one of the biggest honors I’ve had in my life.”
CVM: Do you write a lot of jokes specific to the city you go to? Or is it just a couple? What’s in your act this year?
Williams: “Thankfully, I’ve been to all these cities before, in some way, shape, or form—whether it be the theaters or the comedy clubs I toured for 18 years before moving into theaters. So, there’s always a few things that are local. I like to let people know, ‘I’ve been outside my hotel room. I’ve seen your town. And here’s what I like about it. Here’s what I don’t like about it.’ It’s a lot of fun to do. And it just lets people know that you give a s—. You know? That you’re not just reading off a cue card. And you’re not just going through the motions. You’re actually like, ‘I went out, and I saw this shop. I ate at this restaurant. I saw this thing.’ I feel very blessed to be able to travel as part of my job, so I do like to go out and experience it. I’ve been to all 50 states and 14 countries. That’s a lot of traveling. So, I hope I’ve seen more than just hotel rooms.”
CVM: In Starfish, you said, “I’m glad comedy could be that place where everybody comes together and has fun, ’cause it seems like everything else is trying to divide us.” You talked about the beer brew-haha—bravo for that wordplay, by the way…
Williams: “Thank you.”
CVM: …and you detailed other sources of division. What divisions have you noticed in the world since then? Or is comedy on its way to healing everyone?
Williams: “Well, we’re trying. Comedy’s trying to heal. The most glaring division that happened recently that was so famous was we had two Super Bowl halftime shows. Really? We need two? I don’t get why we did that. Me, personally, there’s a lot of music I’m not a fan of, but if there’s a performer who I am not a fan of who’s at a halftime show, I just kinda go, ‘OK.’ And I wait 10 minutes, and then it’s done. In our country, we’ve all turned into that kid that shows up at the birthday party and says, ‘Uh, I’m allergic to nuts and gluten, and I’m a vegetarian, so if you could all change your lives completely for me, that’d be great.’ No. Not everything is made specifically for you, you a——. OK? What’s kinda the problem here is because of technology and because of everyone’s algorithms, their world is just designed for them. Hey, here’s the clips that we know that you’re gonna like. Hey, you shopped on Amazon before, here’s the things we know that you buy. And sometimes you get things that are not in your algorithm, and you’re like, ‘I can’t handle this!’ Be a f—— adult, OK? Not everything is for you.”
CVM: My wife sometimes gets embarrassed when I draw attention to her in public. How does your wife react to you talking about her at your shows?
Williams: “My wife can’t get too embarrassed about me drawing attention to her in public because she’s walking around as a beautiful Asian woman, holding the hand of a dwarf. So, I’m kinda the world’s largest keychain. Like, ‘Oh, you have the newest handbag? I have a little person.’ She’s gonna get attention no matter what. There are certain topics that I do clear with her. And there are certain topics that, if I believe in it strong enough, I will fight for it. And sometimes, I just let ’em go on stage anyway.”
CVM: Apologize later.
Williams: “Yeah, yeah, yeah. Forgiveness, not permission.”
CVM: When have you gotten starstruck, if at all? Or what’s your most memorable celebrity interaction?
Williams: “The most memorable has to be I was onstage in San Francisco and I did my show, and then I get offstage, and Robin Williams burst into the green room. He was at the show. I did not know that. And he’s like, ‘Oh my god, Mr. Williams, you’re like Prozac with a head!’ And that’s a really nice compliment. That was No. 1. But the cool part about this job is you’ll meet your heroes. I’m a lifelong Denver Broncos fan, and I’ve performed twice for John Elway. And that was my childhood hero. I could text John Elway right now. That’s weird as hell to me. He owns a bunch of car dealerships, and I performed at the Christmas party for them, and he started the standing ovation. It’s one of the cooler moments of my life. You got that, and I was always a pro wrestling fan. Literally, this morning, the wrestler Chris Jericho texted me, and he just said the word ‘cephalopod’ to me. And, if you’ve watched my newest special, Live on Short Street, on my YouTube channel, you know that ‘cephalopod’ is my safe word. So, it was just weird to have one of your childhood heroes just text you your safe word with no context.”
ONE TO WATCH
Maria Bamford
See her: Dec. 6
Site: Attucks Theatre, Norfolk, sevenvenues.com/venues/detail/attucks-theatre
SEPTEMBER
Corey Holcomb
See him: Sept. 4-5
Site: Funny Bone, Virginia Beach, vb.funnybone.com
Jason Salmon
See him: Sept. 8
Site: Funny Bone, Virginia Beach, vb.funnybone.com
Becky Robinson
See her: Sept. 10
Site: Attucks Theatre, Norfolk, sevenvenues.com/venues/detail/attucks-theatre
Big Jay Oakerson
See him: Sept. 11-12
Site: Funny Bone, Virginia Beach, vb.funnybone.com
Ejspeaks
See her: Sept. 13
Site: Funny Bone, Virginia Beach, vb.funnybone.com
Lucas Zelnick
See him: Sept. 17
Site: Funny Bone, Virginia Beach, vb.funnybone.com
Earthquake
See him: Sept. 18-20
Site: Funny Bone, Virginia Beach, vb.funnybone.com
Nurse John
See him: Sept. 19
Site: Attucks Theatre, Norfolk, sevenvenues.com/venues/detail/attucks-theatre
Gabriel Rutledge
See him: Sept. 24
Site: Funny Bone, Virginia Beach, vb.funnybone.com
Jordan Jensen
See her: Sept. 25
Site: Attucks Theatre, Norfolk, sevenvenues.com/venues/detail/attucks-theatre
Zarna Garg
See her: Sept. 25-26
Site: Funny Bone, Virginia Beach, vb.funnybone.com
Justin Whitehead
See him: Sept. 27
Site: Funny Bone, Virginia Beach, vb.funnybone.com
OCTOBER
Dennis McDonald
See him: Oct. 1
Site: Funny Bone, Virginia Beach, vb.funnybone.com
JR De Guzman
See him: Oct. 2-3
Site: Funny Bone, Virginia Beach, vb.funnybone.com
Mojo Brookzz
See him: Oct. 9
Site: Attucks Theatre, Norfolk, sevenvenues.com/venues/detail/attucks-theatre
Tacarra Williams
See her: Oct. 9-10
Site: Funny Bone, Virginia Beach, vb.funnybone.com
Natalie Cuomo
See her: Oct. 15
Site: Funny Bone, Virginia Beach, vb.funnybone.com
Don “DC” Curry
See him: Oct. 16-17
Site: Funny Bone, Virginia Beach, vb.funnybone.com
Nurse Blake
See him: Oct. 17
Site: Attucks Theatre, Norfolk, sevenvenues.com/venues/detail/attucks-theatre
Keith Pedro
See him: Oct. 18
Site: Funny Bone, Virginia Beach, vb.funnybone.com
Alfred Robles
See him: Oct. 23
Site: Funny Bone, Virginia Beach, vb.funnybone.com
Damon Darling
See him: Oct. 24
Site: Funny Bone, Virginia Beach, vb.funnybone.com
Trey Kennedy
See him: Oct. 30
Site: Sandler Center for the Performing Arts, sandlercenter.org
DeRay Davis
See him: Oct. 30-Nov. 1
Site: Funny Bone, Virginia Beach, vb.funnybone.com
NOVEMBER
Kevin James Thornton
See him: Nov. 4
Site: Funny Bone, Virginia Beach, vb.funnybone.com
Jess Hilarious
See her: Nov. 6-7
Site: Funny Bone, Virginia Beach, vb.funnybone.com
Chalee Jr.
See him: Nov. 11
Site: Funny Bone, Virginia Beach, vb.funnybone.com
John Crist
See him: Nov. 12
Site: Attucks Theatre, Norfolk, sevenvenues.com/venues/detail/attucks-theatre
Trae Crowder
See him: Nov. 13
Site: Funny Bone, Virginia Beach, vb.funnybone.com
Chad Daniels
See him: Nov. 14
Site: Funny Bone, Virginia Beach, vb.funnybone.com
Sommore
See her: Nov. 20-21
Site: Funny Bone, Virginia Beach, vb.funnybone.com
Butch Maier
