“These were the happy days—the salad days, as they say.”
—H.I. (Nicolas Cage), Raising Arizona
Happy Days was my favorite television show. I wanted to be Fonzie, but I was really Richie. For those unfamiliar with a series that went off the air more than four decades ago, Fonzie was the cool biker, and Richie wrote for the school paper.
The closest I resembled Fonzie was the squeamish way he reacted to liver. It was the one food Fonzie did not like. There were many foods I did not like. Fonzie ate his veggies. I loathed vegetables. Green bean casserole. Broccoli. Spinach. Lima beans. Scoops of them filled countless paper napkins secretly deposited in the kitchen trash can until my plate was empty. I could not be done with my meal otherwise. So, while Dad read the evening paper with his back to me, I sat at our tiny dinner table, devising strategies to make my food disappear without putting it in my mouth. “Just need a tissue,” I would say, grabbing one while simultaneously disposing of a napkin ball stuffed with good-for-me-but-not-for-me green goop.
I share (confess?) this because I never outgrew my picky eating, so it was important for me to pick four worthy food connoisseurs—Leona Baker, Yasmine Charles, Marisa Marsey, and Hannah Serrano—to serve on our Culinary Awards committee. Together, they agreed on a list of the 50 best restaurants in Coastal Virginia, topped by Eleven Elite Eateries—the best of the best. I hope you enjoy seeing some of your favorites. I hope you notice a new name where you can nosh. I hope you and your friends enjoy happy days hanging out together at a top restaurant, eating food better than the Happy Days gang had at Arnold’s.
While most people enjoy finding fabulous food and discovering delicious drinks, I have a healthy appetite for humor. Food for thought. Sober silliness. I get drunk on punchlines.
Our comedy feature story is on former Saturday Night Live performer Kevin Nealon, who arrives in Virginia Beach for four stand-up shows at the Funny Bone. In high school, I finally was old enough to stay up and watch each week, so I caught Nealon’s hilarious turn as a weightlifting correspondent at the “All-Drug Olympics.” Phil Hartman’s Russian athlete had pumped himself full of performance-enhancing substances in an attempt to lift more than 1,500 pounds. When Hartman stood up, the bar did not move. “Oh, he’s pulled his arms off! He’s pulled his arms off!” Nealon yelled, before adding an understated, “That’s gotta be disappointing to the big Russian. You know, you hate to see something like this happen. He probably doesn’t have that much pain right now, but I think tomorrow, he’s really gonna feel that.”
Sounds a lot like waking up these days. Remember when you could just go to sleep, get up in the morning, and not feel any pain?
Those were the happy days.
Butch Maier
Editor, Coastal Virginia Magazine
bmaier@vistamediainc.com
Butch Maier
